Archive for January, 2009

Zack and Miri Don’t Make A Porno

January 31, 2009

Welcome to the year 2000 humans! Your over lords at WalMart have deamed the word ‘Porno’ highly offensive and have forced film maker Kevin Smith to remove it, cover it, spank it, lick it, whatever it takes so the pussy’s that shop at Walmart don’t get offended.

zack-and-miri-walmart

Srsly? Mommy, what’s a Porno?

Oh Heavens to Betsy, what will the children think, won’t somebody think of the children!

So what do you think Earth Humans?

Advertisements

LobsterHeart

January 31, 2009

It’s been a glorious week, national Sadie week in fact, and I hate to fush it all away without taking the time to look back and reflect on just what it maybe that we’ve learned.

It’s a cruel world out there and we’ve never been accepted as part of it. No brothers, we’ve had to fight for our rights day in and day out, and it’s time to mount the horses and take a stand at the battle ridge. Look down upon our enemies and strike the down with a mighty blow!

LobsterHeart Riveting Speech

LobsterHeart Riveting Speech

So You can fight my brothers, or you can crawl away and pray the sticky grasp of our enemies takes it’s time in finding you. For the hot death awaits you!

Fight the good fight.

Hide Your Little Lobster Nuts!

January 30, 2009

We all remember the beauty of the lobster crossing sign. It’s a thing of pure beauty, something of epic divinity, one could only hope to glare upon something so glorious let alone procure it as a kitsch possession. But when in doubt, simply do what our super fan Sadie has done and follow the simple instructions in our first lobster DYI Instructional:

Step 1) Find one of the man Squirrel Crossing signs that plague our fare country.

Step 2) Steal it.

Step 3) By whatever means possible turn the squirrel in to a lobster.

There you have it my friends, and now after all your hard work (roughly 42.74 hours) you’ll have something this epic:

Lobster Squirrel Crossing by Saide

Lobster Pan

January 29, 2009

Sadie’s Vaw of destruction continues as she aids in some of the biggest super villany ever to be lobsterized!

Dustin Hoffman, Hook, 1991 (252-509 © SuperStock, Inc.)

Eye for an eye, that’s the motto.

Return of the Claw Ball (video)

January 28, 2009

This just in. We’ve just received video footage of the stunned prankie of the Claw Ball surprise.

Click here to play video

Well played Sadie; fight the good fight!

Claw Ball!

January 28, 2009

Welcome to the claw ball. one can only imagine the shrieks and fear as an unsuspecting roommate comes home to a dark room. She flips a switch to a rose colored horror as the safety of the lovable and loyal china ball now casts giant shadowy claws of doom everywhere!

This is all I could possibly hope from the Claw Ball. sadly being on the receiving side of the picture I can only imagine it in it’s full glory.

Claw Ball

The picture however led me on a search. Though ‘Green’ is clearly the enemy color of all things lobster (as are things like the words ‘Burning’, ‘Man’, ‘Butter’, ‘Hovercraft’ and ‘Giant Fucking Pit of Doom’ I was immediately curious what awesome Homaridae inspired art works may have found there way to the deserts of Black Rock. (‘Rock’ being a favored word, much like ‘Claw’, ‘Crush’, Slash’, ‘Destroy all humans’ and ‘Crabs For the Lose’ or CFTL).

Though I was slightly disappointed with the meager amount of Lobster pictures from the event, there was one that stood out.

Hey Kool Aid! Suck It

God speed you little man. Crush those box walls that hold you down! Vive La Revolution!

Once again Claw Ball provided by Super Fan Sadie.

Are You Lobsperienced?

January 27, 2009

We move on from Prehistory to one of the other biggest things to be dropped beyond meteorites and acid Mister Jimi Hendrix. One can only imagine the look of sheer confuzzlement as a roommate comes home to see the smirking face of Lobster Hendrix telling her “What it iz mama. you looking so fine in your shiny exoskeleton. Get blazin and you’ll find a cool cat to knock boots with, if you catch my jive.”

Not since motivational posters were born has one of such importance existed. It is the Lobster Hendrix Experience.

Lobster Hendrix

The Lobster Hendrix Experience by Sadie

Thanks again to Sadie for the fan art, and Excuse me while I kiss the Brine.

Katie Stam Bikini Pics from Miss America

January 26, 2009

miss-america-katie-stamCongrats to our girl Miss America 2009 Katie Stam

Fanning the Flames of Vaw and the LobstasariousRex!

January 26, 2009

Toward the end of last year I made myself a promise. I’d give all these seemingly ancillary projects till my birthday in May to prove themselves or sink to the waste side.

I have to admit, I figure my meme based blog about lobster jokes, lobster invasions, and adding lobster claws to famous scenes would probably be the first to go. I was wrong.

The war, sorry, the Vaw seems to be going strong. In fact, beyond my videos it’s had several days where it’s been the top of my blogs hit wise. I was shocked out of my little exoskeleton.

Another shock came last week when we received our first fan art. And not just some fan art. 7 pictures. But not just 7 pictures. 7 pictures of an all out real life Lobster Vaw in which roommate has been pit verse roommate. I present to you know, what may by far be my favorite thing ever. I Call it LobstasariousRex by the ultimate Vawior Sadie.

LobstariousRexbySadie

LobstasariousRex By Sadie

Check back everyday this week to see more from Sadie’s LobsterVaw Fan art collection and remember every time you laugh is a crushing defeat in the face of her enemy the unnamed roommate of doom.

Sadie we salute you. I proclaim this national Sadie Week.

Got some lobster vaw fan art of your own? Leave it in a comment or email samsaysstaystrong at gmail

Katie Holmes Sag Nipple Awards

January 26, 2009

So apparently young Miss Holmes has been doing more wrong than just taking career advice from crazed hubby Tom Cruise. I was first ‘turned on’ to Katie’s Holme’s nipples by a friend, and then after a quick google search found this to be more like a national crisis!.

We however here at LobsterVaws don’t really see what the problem is. Maybe it looked worse on TV

katie-holmes-nipples-awards